Justin Part 2
by Wolf Pyre
"Justin, time t' git up." Vin said as he opened the blinds to let the sunlight in.
"What time is it?"
"7:00 am. Day's a wastin'. You've got chores t' do. Come on."
"Go away." Justin said as he snuggled back down under the covers.
Vin went to the bed, pulled the covers off and swatted Justin's already sore backside. "OW!" Justin sat up quickly and glared at Vin. "Get up. Get dressed. I want you down stairs in 15 minutes. If I have t' come back up here t' get ya, you'll be eatin' standin' up. Got it?"
"I got it. I got it." He replied irritably.
"Boy, if yer smart you'll drop th' attitude right now. Lessin' you want a repeat of last night." Vin walked out of the room and went down to breakfast.
15 minutes later, Justin dragged himself to into the kitchen. He slumped into a chair and glared angrily at the men who woke him up at this ungodly hour. Chris put a plate of food in front of him. "Eat. and don't tell me you're not hungry. You didn't eat dinner last night so I know you are." Reluctantly, Justin started eating.
After breakfast, Vin and Chris showed Justin what his chores would be.
//I can't believe they want me to clean out these stalls everyday. Disgusting. Then I gotta start chopping firewood for the winter. Gotta make my bed every morning. Gotta help with the cleaning. Jeesh, I'm like, so not into manual
labor, especially when there's easier ways to get things done//.
<><><><><><>
Chris decided to take Justin to town with him when he went to get supplies. Luckily, the town closest to him was small and Justin would be hard pressed to find trouble.
Justin was excited. This would be the first time he left the ranch since Chris brought him there a week ago. He was looking for some excitement. It was not to be. Chris wouldn't let him out of his sight. Justin was desperate to get away.
"Chris, I gotta go. Where's the bathroom?"
"There isn't one in here. You'll have to wait until I'm finished. Then we'll go over to the restaurant."
"But Chris, I really gotta go." Justin added the `I've really gotta pee' squeeze and squat for good measure.
"All right. You go over there then come right back. Don't make me have to come look for you."
Justin took off out of the hardware store and made like he was going to the restaurant. Once he was sure he was out of sight, he made a quick detour. He walked into the general store and looked around. It was prime pickings for someone as good at Justin.
//Hell, that's why they took me into The Coven. I'm the best they've seen in a while. This was going to be like taking candy from a baby//
He saw a display case full of knives. //That's something I could use. Chris took the one I had when I first got to the ranch. // He made sure no one was watching him and then pocketed 2 of the knives.
//Piece of shit town, really should use cameras or metal detectors or something, that
wasn't even a challenge//
He walked out if the store directly into the path of Danny Carter and his friends.
"Watch were yer goin'?" Danny said and shoved Justin out of his way.
Justin was spoiling for a fight. That was all he needed. He swept the other boy's feet out from under him, rolled him on to his back and straddled his hips. He did it so quickly, Danny's friends didn't react until it was too late. The punches rained down on Danny, hitting his face and chest. Danny's friends finally regained their senses and were about to pull Justin off but froze.
"Touch me, and I kill him." Justin said dangerously. The boys backed off and stared helplessly at the scene before them.
Justin was sitting on the Danny's chest, knife held at his throat. "You mess with me again and I'll slit your fucking throat. You understand me?" Justin said dangerously. The boy nodded the best he could. Justin slowly ran the blade along Danny's neck, piercing the skin and leaving a line of blood in its wake.
"What in the world are you doin' boy? " Buck said grabbing Justin's knife hand and pulling him off Danny. "You trying to kill him or something?"
"Nope, just give his something to remember me by." Justin replied.
"Something to remember you by? Boy." Buck's sentence was cut off.
"What's going on?" Chris asked in a deceptively calm voice. Justin looked up and gave Chris a cocky smile. He was about to answer when Buck jumped in.
"Justin here cut Danny's neck to...how did you say it boy. `Give his something to remember you by'?"
Chris glared at Justin. "Go wait for me in the truck." Justin didn't move. "NOW! And you better be there when I get there."
Justin started for the truck, but stopped and turned to Danny. "You remember what I told you asshole." He gave the boy another shove, then continued on his way.
Chris turned to the boy still lying on the ground. "You okay boy? Need a doctor?"
Danny wiped the blood from his neck and looked up at Chris. "No, it's okay. I'm all right." Chris helped the boy stand. As soon as Danny gained his footing, he and his friends took off running.
Chris shook his head at the resilience of youth turned to Buck. "Good thing you were in town. That could have turned real ugly."
"Yeah, I know. I was actually heading up to your place when I saw your truck. Figured I'd stop. What are you gonna do with Justin?"
"Kill `em." Chris replied.
"Well, I don't wanna be around when that happens, so why don't I finished getting the things you need while you take care of the boy. `Bout a hour be good?"
"Yeah, thanks Buck." Chris handed him the list and angrily stalked to the truck.
<><><><><><>
Vin was just coming out of the barn when he saw Chris's truck pull up. He watched Chris pull Justin out of the cab and drag him towards the barn. file://Uh. Oh. // Vin stepped aside as Chris pushed Justin towards the stalls.
"What happened, Cowboy?"
Chris ignored him. He turned to Justin. "Boy, you've just made a very big mistake. Drop your jeans and bend yourself over that gate there." Chris said pointing at the stall gate.
"Fuck you!" Justin yelled back.
"Justin," Chris said in a quiet, steely voice. "If I have to do it you won't sit comfortably for a week. Do it. NOW!"
Justin desperately wanted to disobey, but he'd been through this with Chris when he was younger and knew there was no way he was going to get out it. He slowly dropped his jeans and bent over. He heard Chris remove his belt and get in to position behind him.
"Now. I want you to tell Vin what you've done to get into this position." Chris said.
"Go to hell! You fucking tell him you. OUCH! Shit!" Justin yelped when he felt the first lick.
"Wrong answer. Try again."
Justin hesitated. SMACK. "OW! Damn it! All right, all right. I got into a fight in town." Anger lacing his words.
"And?" Chris prompted.
"And I pulled a knife on the kid. I just cut his neck to leave a little reminder. I wasn't gonna kill'em. Then that asshole Buck pulled me off of him. " SMACK. "OW!"
"That's my friend you're talking about. Now, I distinctly remember taking your knife from you when you got here. Where did you get it?"
"I ain't fucking telling you."
SMACK. "Where. Did. You. Get. It?"
"Fuck!" Justin's backside was on fire. "I took it from the fucking general store, happy?"
SMACK. SMACK. "Does it feel like I'm happy? Where is it?"
Justin remained quiet. SMACK. "The knife, where is it?" Chris demanded.
"OUCH! In my pocket." Vin went over and removed the knife from the jeans pooled around Justin's feet.
"You steal again, you'll think what you're about to get was a brush with a powder puff. Understand me?"
"Yes." Justin's voice shook. He was desperately trying to hold back the tears.
SMACK. "Yes what?"
"OW! Yes Sir."
With that said, Chris lit into the boy. Seven licks later, Chris stopped. Justin laid over the gate sobbing. While Chris was putting his belt back on, Vin helped Justin stand up and adjust his clothing.
Chris pulled Justin into a hug. Justin embraced him for a moment before he realized what he was doing. He quickly pulled himself away from Chris and stared at the floor. "Go on up to your room. You're not to come out until Vin or I tell you. Understand?"
"Yes Sir." Justin capitulated and walked slowly up to the house.
Vin turned to Chris. "Damn cowboy. He coulda killed that boy today."
"Yeah. I know. Hopefully the pain in his backside will be enough if a reminder to not let it happen again." Chris took a sideways glance at Vin.
"Doubt that. He's angry and hurting and doesn't know why. He's gonna keep on getting in t' trouble until he figures it out. I know it took quite a few sessions with Nettie's strap `fore I figured it out."
"Why am I not surprised?" Chris snorted. "C' mon. Buck'll be here with the supplies soon."
<><><><><><>
Justin turned on his stereo and laid on his bed trying to calm down. His backside was killing him. The last time he could remember getting a tanning like that was when set the neighbors shed on fire. Boy, his dad was mad. Tears came to Justin's eyes at that thought.
//God I really miss him. Why did he have to go away? I needed him then and he left. Hell, I need him now. But he's dead and I can't have him. I have Chris and maybe even Vin, but if I let them in, they'll probably leave too. // Justin said to himself.
Chris became his second father after his dad died, and Justin really missed him this past year. He remembered the warmth and love coming through the hug Chris gave him. He wanted to stay in that hug forever. But he was afraid...afraid to feel again. He couldn't stand another person to leave. He swiped the tears from his eyes angrily. file://I will not cry. I do not show emotion. I do not feel. // He let his body go numb, trying to get rid of the pain inside. It wasn't working.
The beginning of "Revel In My Loss" by Shadows Fall began to play as he stood up and reached in to his boot.
//Thank god Chris didn't find this// He pulled the second knife he stole out of the side. He went to his ankle and noticed the cuts there weren't healed yet, so he moved to his arm, pulled his sleeve up, and ran the knife across the underside of his forearm.
//Ahhhh. That feels good. //
Can I prevent this loss and pain to hasten my release
Or am I damned to existence alone
Sear me, let this pain set me free again
With broken promises, never know what life could bring
And the time spent alone sorting through emotions
Is a blessing that I know I cannot repay
With only words I can't express my deep regret
Of time gone by and of feelings I'll never know
***SLICE***
Pain believed but never shared has left me damaged here
My wounds will bleed anew, I am now exposed
Reaching out, reaching in the pain that grips me
Holds me tight in a crushed embrace
Holding out, holding out try to protect from what I fear
Reaching out, reaching in the pain that grips me
Hold me tight in a crushed embrace
Holding out, holding out try to protect from what I fear
Revel in my loss
*** SLICE***
Scar me, let this pain set me free again
With broken promises, never know what this life could bring
And the time spent alone sorting through emotions
Is a blessing I know I cannot repay
Revel in my loss
Reaching out, reaching in the pain that grips me
Holds me tight in a crushed embrace
Holding out, holding out try to protect from what I fear
*** SLICE***
Reaching out, reaching in the pain that grips me
Holds me tight in a crushed embrace
Holding out, holding out try to protect from what I fear
The end draws light with this pressure
Lacerations upon you to free yourself
Pain that grips me
***SLICE***
Justin listened to the last chords of the song and sighed in relief. He looked down and saw 5 bleeding lines standing out in contrast to his pale skin.
Quietly, Justin got up and snuck into the bathroom. He washed out the cuts, then returned to his room. Rummaging through his pack, he found the first aid kit he kept there for just this reason. He put some antibiotic cream on the still bleeding cuts, then covered them with gauze. After pulling down his sleeve, he put the supplies away and laid back down. His mind was clear and he was pain free. He'd be fine now. He fell asleep immediately.
<><><><><><>
Vin walked into Justin's room to get him for supper. He smiled at how innocent he looked while sleeping. Quietly he went to the bed and shook Justin awake.
"Justin, come on. Time to get up. Supper's ready." Justin stirred, opened his eyes and smiled. "Hey Vin."
"Hey yerself. Come on. Time t' eat."
Justin sat up carefully, mindful of his sore behind. Vin smiled and grabbed the pillow off Justin's bed. Justin gave him a weird look. "It's for yer chair. Figured you wont want t' sit on a hard chair after Chris's `discussion'."
Justin rolled his eyes and smiled. "Funny, very funny." He said with a laugh and headed down to eat.
Vin watched him go. //That's th' first time I've see th' kid smile. Wonder why th' change in attitude. He was almost acting like a typical 13 year old. // "Vin ya coming?" Justin called from the steps snapping Vin out of his thoughts. "Yeah pard. Let's go."
<><><><><><><>
1 week later:
"Justin, come on. Nettie'll be waitin for us." Vin yelled up the stairs. Chris had to go into the office for a few hours, so Vin was on his own today. He decided to take Justin over to meet Nettie since she would be helping with his schooling.
Justin came down the stairs with a scowl on his face. "Damn it, I'm coming."
"I heard that. Watch yer mouth." Vin said.
"Whatever." Justin replied and headed out the door to the jeep.
Twenty minutes later, they pulled up in front of Nettie's house.
"Now, I'm warnin ya. Behave. Nettie's like a mother t' me an I won't abide any bad behavior. Understand?"
"Yeah."
"What was that?"
"Yes, Sir." Justin replied angrily and got out of the jeep.
Nettie met them at the door. "Vin!" She said as she gave him a big hug. She looked at the boy next to Vin and her breath caught. She took in his shoulder length sandy brown hair and big blue eyes.
//My god, he looks just like Vin did as a boy// "Now, who do we have here?" She asked.
"Nettie, this is Justin. He's the boy I told you about."
"Well, Justin, it's good to meet you. Come on in, lunch is almost ready and I have apple pie for dessert." she said in a singsong voice.
"Nettie, you spoil me." Vin said with an easy smile. He pushed Justin ahead of him and headed into the house.
<><><><><><>
Vin walked into the kitchen intent on getting a taste of the pie. He had just grabbed a knife and was getting ready to cut into it when he felt a slap on his backside. "OW! Nettie! What did you do that for?"
"Vin Tanner, you stay out of that pie. You can have some after lunch."
"Aw Nettie. OW!" His whine was cut off with another swat. "Quit hitting me."
"You behave yourself and I wont have to. Now go sit down."
Vin sat at the table and winked at Justin. "Nettie just one piece."
Nettie turned around ready to scold him again when she saw the smile on his face. "Keep it up, son, and you'll get more that those two swats." She said trying to hide her smile. God, she loved that boy.
Justin had been watching from the table. He noticed the change in Vin's speech pattern. How
he completed words and didn't use profanity. He also noticed the way they acted together.
//Mom stopped acting like that after dad died. Probably didn't care anymore// Justin became angry at this thought.
"Justin, starting on Monday, Nettie will be helping out with your schooling. She was a high school teacher up until she retired last
year, so don't think you'll get away with anything." Vin said with a knowing smile.
//Well, that explains the change in speech// That gave him an idea. "Don't care. Ain't gonna need no more learnin. Already know everythin I need t' survive. So's you can jus back off." He said in a perfect imitation of Vin.
"Justin." Vin began, but Nettie cut him off.
"Young man, you can just quit it right now. I know you don't normally speak like that so don't even try it." Nettie scolded. She heard Vin stifle a laugh and leveled her gaze at him. "I also know that you were imitating Vin's way of speaking when I'm not around."
Vin's head shot up. "I-I don't know what you're talking about Nettie."
"Don't try it Vin. You know you can't lie to me. And if you remember, I know just how to deal with lying." Vin knew what she was alluding to and was about to voice his feelings toward the issue when Nettie held up her hand. "I don't care how old you are!" Nettie snapped, her gaze holding Vin's. Vin knew when he was licked and dropped his eyes. Nettie turned back to Justin.
"Now you Justin." Justin cringed. He'd underestimated this feisty old woman. "I've seen your transcripts. I know that you are intelligent and were taking advanced courses up until a year ago when you started skipping class. That won't happen any longer. You will be here on the days your told and you will learn. You have potential child and I'm not going to let you ruin it. Do you understand me?"
Justin tried to think of a smart remark, but it escaped him. He said the only thing that came to his mind. "Yes, ma'am."
"Good. Now that we understand each other, lets eat."
Vin and Nettie were reminiscing about old times throughout lunch. They shared a lot of smiles and small touches between them. The more Justin watched, the surlier his attitude became. By the time they were finished, he'd worked himself into a ball of angry tension just looking for an outlet.
"Well Nettie, we've got to go. Chris just got in some new tack and I told him I'd check it over and put it away for him." He leaned over and brushed Nettie's cheek with a light kiss. Nettie turned to Justin. "Well, it was nice meeting you young man." She said as she put her hand on his shoulder.
"Don't fucking touch me!" He yelled. "I don't like it when people touch me!"
"Justin! Apologize. Now!" Vin was shocked by Justin's outburst. Justin stood there defiantly. Vin was about to step towards him when he felt Nettie's hand restraining him.
"Justin, go wait out in the truck." Nettie said kindly. Justin was taken aback. He'd expected her to be angry. He wasn't sure how to respond so he did as she said.
Nettie turned to Vin. "Son, leave it be."
"But Nettie."
"Vin, it's okay, it's not his fault. I shouldn't have touched him without checking with him first. I seem to recall another young man who was the same way when I first met him. It took some time, but he learned to accept physical affection." She smiled at Vin and saw the smile returned.
"Granted, if he acts like that towards me again he'll not be so lucky." She added, fire in her eyes.
"He wont, I'll see to that." Vin said resolutely.
<><><><><><>
Vin got into the truck and headed home. "Justin, what was that all about?"
"Nothing."
"If I r'member right, I told you to behave yourself. Right?"
"Yes, Sir." Justin responded through clenched teeth. His anger was almost becoming a physical being. Problem was, he wasn't entirely sure why he was so mad. That just made him angrier.
"Well then, come Monday, you'll apologize to Nettie and take what ever punishment she decides. Understood?"
"Yes, Sir."
Once at the ranch, Justin hopped out of the truck and ran to his room. Vin had just reached the house when he heard the door slam and Linkin Park start blaring out of his stereo. "Well, so much for a nice relaxing night." He said to the empty room.
<><><><><><>
Justin slammed his door and turned on the stereo. He popped in Linkin Park and immediately forwarded to the song "Crawling". He let the strains of music flow through him:
Crawling in my skin
Consuming all I feel
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real
There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
Consuming/Confusing
This lack of self-Control I fear is never ending
Controlling/I can't seem
To find myself again
My walls are closing in
[Without a sense of confidence and I'm convinced
That there's just too much pressure to take]
I've felt this way before
So insecure
Crawling in my skin
Consuming all I feel
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real
Discomfort endlessly had pulled itself upon me
Distracting/Reacting
Against my will I stand beside my own reflection
It's haunting how I cant seem
To find myself again
My walls are closing in
[Without a sense of confidence and I'm convinced
That there's just too much pressure to take]
I've felt this way before
So insecure
Crawling in my skin
Consuming all I feel
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real
The song ended and Justin put the player on random. He sat on the bed contemplating the song. He sometimes felt like it was written just for him. It said what his mouth couldn't. At the same time, it made him angry with himself for showing his emotions. He knew how dangerous it was to do that.
//I won't show weakness. I won't show fear. // His body was vibrating with angry energy causing a pain that was unbearable.
He pulled the knife out of his boot again. //Just one cut. That's all I need. //
He pulled up his sleeve ready to make the first cut when he saw the injuries already there.
//Shit! Now where am I going to do it? // He knew he had to do it somewhere he could hide it. He decided that his stomach would do.
//It's October, not like I'm going to be taking my shirt off anytime soon. // He put the knife to his skin and slowly drew the blade across his stomach.
//God, that's feels wonderful// He felt the anger start to pour out of him along with the blood.
//Just one more cut and I'll be all better// He intended to only make one cut, but he NEEDED this.
***SLICE***
//Much better. // He cleaned the cuts and covered them with bandages. He was a little worried at how deep one of the cuts were, but figured as long as he kept his eye on it he'd be okay. He stretched out on the bed and fell asleep.
Part 3